Two Great Reviews for “The Y Front Chronicles”

After my wonderful review for “The Y Front Stand Off,”  I have now got 2 great reviews for “The Y Front Chronicles”.

It is interesting that all the reviews for both the “The Y Front Chronicles” and the “The Y Front Standoff” are from ladies.

Have I been pitching the advertising for this book at the wrong target audience?  It’s a thought.

Alan

4.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully dark and funny short-story 22 Aug. 2015
By humanitysdarkerside VINE VOICE
Format:Kindle Edition
Alan Scott has written a wonderfully funny and dark story about murder and mayhem.

I suppose it could be read as a warning about the consequences of training our soldiers too well. The thought did not enter my mind until the classroom situation. But, yeah, that could work.

A man with his own brand of conscience and his pet hamster, TF. A killer with a pet hamster. Not much like the hamster I used to own and adore. SCoT-01 is a fun and terrifying person I would hope to always keep on my side. His hamster, too.

Definitely recommended.

http://wp.me/p2lRqb-2O1

4.0 out of 5 stars Utterly bonkers and absolutely hilarious! 25 Jun. 2015
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I can’t compare this to any other sci-fi novels because I haven’t read any but I really enjoyed humour with elements of violence thrown in.The main character was interesting and there are parts where you start to feel empathy for this cold hearted killer who longs for a comfy pair of pants. I found this short story laugh out loud funny but then I do have quite a warped sense of humour!
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A Review for “The Y front Standoff”

I’ve been very lucky to get the following excellent review for my short story “The Y front Stand off.”

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and sexy, what more could you want?, 25 Aug. 2015

Verified Purchase
This review is from: The Y Front Standoff (The Y Front Chronicles Book 2) (Kindle Edition)
A sequel to the superb Y Front Chronicles, this short story has managed to ramp up the laughs tenfold. The parody of daytime TV is hilarious (and makes me think that the author watches it more often than he should).

And then there’s the masterful hero of the story, SCoT-01 who just oozes sex appeal in those Y fronts of his. Move over

Christian Grey, there’s a new guy in town.

Highly recommended.

‘The Y front Standoff’ will be on free promotion, via Amazon, from Thu 20 Mar 14 to Mon 24 Mar 14.

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‘The Y front Standoff’ will be on free promotion, via Amazon, from Thu 20 Mar 14 to Mon 24 Mar 14.

The Y Front Standoff is a short Sci- fi story (set in the year 3259) which continues the story of SCoT-01 now that he is back on earth. It is set a year after the events of “The Y Front Chronicles” but can be read as a standalone story.

This darkly humoured story features everyone’s favourite day time TV show ‘Women who bitch with other women’ and of course the killer robotic hamster ‘TF’. However, beware it also contain sex, violence, full frontal nudity and a tattoo of a lawn mower – you have been warned.

 Although written in a (hopefully) humorous way, the underlying political and social comments are very deliberate.

 To download it, simple search for “The Y front Standoff Alan Scott” on Amazon.

I’m now going to be very cheeky. If you do download and enjoy this story could I kindly ask you to share this post : ) I’m trying to get more than 250 downloads in the 5 days

 I will of course post the results on the 25 Mar 14

 Alan

The Cover of My Latest Short Story

The Cover of My Latest Short Story

The Y Front Standoff is a short story (set in the year 3259) which continues the story of SCoT-01 now that he is back on earth. It is set a year after the events of “The Y Front Chronicles” but can be read as a standalone story.

This darkly humoured story features everyone’s favourite day time TV show ‘Women who bitch with other women’ and of course the killer robotic hamster ‘TF’

Although written in a (hopefully) humorous way, the underlying political and social comments are very deliberate.

The ‘Y’ Front Standoff

This is part of the link story between “The Y Front Chronicles” currently available on amazon and “The Y Front Chronicles Part II” which will be out late 2014.

Year: 3259

Location: Women Who Bitch With Other Women Studio

Sharon: Thank you for that wonderful prune and beetroot cake recipe, Daphne. I am sure our viewers will be rushing to make it very soon indeed.

<a large round of applause from the studio audience>

Sharon: Well, Tracey, do you know what the next segment is?

Tracey: No, I don’t, Sharon. Do tell me.

Sharon: Well, it’s called ‘My Husband Cheated On Me With My Best Friend’s Golf Instructor’s Third Cousin’s Landscape Gardener and I Am Devastated’.

Tracey: It happens more than people think.

Sharon: That’s why we are running this important segment…

Tracey: OMG! Sorry for interrupting, Sharon, but I’m being told there is breaking news in London and we need to go to our news teams at Cloud Central.

***

Location: Cloud News Studio

Anchorwoman Hannah: Good evening. There have been reports of the mass murderer known as SCoT-01 in London. This ruthless killer was last sighted a year and a half ago on board the doomed starship, Little Wrenn. We will now go over to our Roving Reporter, Tasmin. Tasmin, are you there?

***

Location: West London

Roving Reporter Tasmin: Good evening, Hannah, and thank you. I am here in West London and, as the rain slowly falls down upon us, the atmosphere is becoming more tense. There are a number of police officers closing the roads and I can hear the hum of the police hover-vehicles as they move towards the scene.

Hannah: Are there any signs of the fugitive or his hamster?

Tasmin: The fugitive was last seen taking three women up to his eighth-floor hotel room.

Hannah: How long ago was that?

Tasmin: Roughly, an hour ago.

Hannah: Can you describe these women?

Tasmin <a pause> ‘Very distinctive’ would be the phrase I would use. One had bright green hair, another bright pink, whilst the last had pastel blue. Their dress sense was rather unique and clothes were frankly lacking.

Hannah: Ah, I see. What is happening now?

Tasmin: The police are building their barricades and keeping people away from the hotel.

Hannah: Ok, and thank you. We shall return you back to your normal programme now, but will keep you updated as events escalate. If you wish to follow minute-by-minute news of the growing standoff, then turn to Cloud News now.

***

Location: Women Who Bitch With Other Women Studio

Sharon: <talking to someone offstage> Have we got the Spy-in-the-Sky yet? Well, I don’t give a damn if they do have it. I want it now and at the hotel!

Stagehand: And five, four, three, two, and one.

Sharon: And welcome back, viewers. I am joined on the sofa by our resident fashion guru, Melissa Farquhar.

Melissa: Hello, Sharon and viewers.

Sharon: And Hayley Snow, our war correspondent.

Hayley: Hiya.

Sharon: And, of course, my co-presenter, Tracey.

Tracey: Hi, everyone, and thank you, Sharon. The mass killer and hamster lover, SCoT-01 is loose in our beloved London. We all shudder at the thought of the damage he could do to all the shops along Oxford or Regents Street.

<a sharp intake of breath can be heard from the audience>

Melissa: Troubled and dangerous times.

Hayley: So true, Melissa. There is a lovely handbag shop in harm’s way and, if anything should happen to that, I would weep. I would. I would weep.

Sharon: Be strong, Hayley. We are all with you, isn’t that right, audience?

<a huge cheer and whooping can be heard>

Hayley: <turning to Sharon> Thank you. <turning to the audience> Thank you.

<more cheering from the audience>

Hayley: <composing herself> I have been reading up on this desperate war criminal and mass killer. His real name is not SCoT-01, as some people think. That is simply his classification number. His real name is buried deep within British military records.

So what do we know about this monster? He was part of an elite military unit, which specialised in covert operations. For some reason, the unit went rogue and attacked loyal British soldiers back in 3255. After a desperate firefight, SCoT-01 was the sole survivor.

He specialised in using dual pistols and especially the Mark VII Assault Pistol. Police have informed us that he is currently armed and very dangerous. The public must stay away from him.

His hamster, Terminal Flatulence, is also considered armed and dangerous. One sniff of his toxic fumes could kill in an instant.

The question we need to ask is – what turned a….

Sharon: I am sorry to interrupt, but our Spy-in-the-Sky has live footage of SCoT-01. Yes, looking at our monitors, we can see – wow… we can see the desperado, dressed only in his y-fronts as he makes his way to the fridge in the open-plan hotel room. Melissa, your thoughts.

Melissa: Well, Sharon, the y-fronts are black with the ‘y’ coloured in gold. They are stretched tight against his firm buttocks and, yes… <Melissa stares closely at the monitor, then puts her glasses on> I can confirm that he has very firm buttocks, exactly what you need to wear these undergarments. <Melissa leans back, sucking on the stem of her glasses>

Sharon: Do you think you know the maker?

Melissa: I do believe that they are from N & A, and are part of their Dark Passion range.

Sharon: Black with gold trim – difficult for a man to pull off?

Melissa: Not a lot of men could pull off that look. It’s all in the buttocks, you see.

Tracey: Sorry to interrupt, but two of the women are coming out of the bedroom. It’s the ones with green and pink hair, and they are naked.

Sharon: Well, really! Shameless!

Hayley: They are draping themselves around SCoT-01. Have they no shame?

Melissa: <leaning forward and placing her glasses on> Mmmm… The one with the green hair also has dyed her narrow strip of pubic hair green, and, yes, has a tattoo of a lawn mower near it.

Hayley: Has she?

Melissa: <leaning back> Yes, look at the freeze frame.

<all the women lean forward and stare at the monitor>

Sharon: Can we get this on the monitor for the audience to see?

<moments later, the image is brought up on the main studio monitor>

<the audience gasps>

Tracey: The slapper!

Hayley: The tart!

Sharon: How cheap!

Melissa: Next season’s must-have fashion accessory!

Tracey, Sharon, Hayley: <all together> Really!

Melissa: Yes, but the pink-haired woman is just a cheap tart – no class.

Sharon: There you have it, viewers. You heard it first here on Women Who Bitch With Other Women. Green pubic hair with a tattoo of a lawn mower is next session’s must-have fashion accessory. Hard news and fashion, all in one place.

<mass whoops and cheers from the audience>

Hayley: Hey, he is moving towards the window. Keep it on the big screen.

<on the big screen: A rugged lean and toned, male, who looks to be in his mid-forties, wearing black and gold y-fronts, walks towards the window with a bottle of water in one hand. He places his free hand on the windowpane and stares out into pitch-black night. His chest has red raw lines crisscrossing it, left by the women’s nails being dragged across it.

Whether by a fluke of the camera or an amazing ability, the man seems to stare down the lens of the Spy-in-the-Sky camera and smiles a knowing smile, as a bluish light glows faintly from behind his dark blue eyes.

He then turns round and, taking a woman in each arm, makes his way back to the bedroom just as the bedroom door opens and the woman with the blue hair beckons him in.

The door does not quite close and is left teasingly slightly ajar.

Melissa: <mouths> FUCK! <before sucking hard on her glasses stem>

Tracey: Well, viewers, we will be back after these messages.

***

Location: Western stairwell of the hotel

Sergeant: <speaking into a radio link in his helmet> Command, this is Fire Group One, ready to advance.

Command: Fire Group One, this is Command. Advance!

Sergeant: <signals for his team of nine soldiers to advance>

<from the camera fitted to the sergeant’s helmet, a picture can be seen of three soldiers carrying flamethrowers advancing slowly. Behind them are three soldiers equipped with pistols and, behind them, three with submachine guns. In the rear is the sergeant.

The soldiers carefully make their way up the wide staircase.

Sergeant: <speaking on the radio link> Steady, men, steady. Keep an eye out for that bloody hamster.

***

Location: Women Who Bitch With Other Women studio.

Sharon: Welcome back, viewers. Now, Hayley, how are things going?

Hayley: Well, Sharon, it’s been fairly quiet since you have been away and I am pleased to report that the handbag shop remains undamaged…

<a round of applause from the audience>

Hayley: …for the moment.

Sharon: Serious times.

Hayley: Indeed.

To be continued…..

The Y Front Chronicles – How it got its name.

 I have been asked by a number of people – “Alan, why on earth did you call your Sci –fi book ‘The Y Front Chronicles’?
The answer to that is rather complicated and mildly interesting!  Below is the short easy version…though still mildly interesting!
‘Y Fronts’ came about because of the webpage – Readwave.com.  My short stories were getting good reviews and had just become a Star Reviewer on Readwave, so I wanted to write some quick and easy that could be made up of instatements.
The idea of writing in a diary format sprang to mind, quickly followed by the idea of setting it in the year 3256. But whose diary would I be writing?  Immediately the world ‘Killer’ entered my mind.
So, next I had to work out the actual story.
The story of ‘Y Fronts’ is about a man who is lost, lonely and feels out of place within his new environment.  Having served in the RAF for 12 years (as a caterer), it was a feelings I could strong relate to. The military has its own language, rules and ways of doing things and you know where you fit in.
When I left and went to work for the Council, it was a huge shock to the system and I found it very difficult to fit in. They worked differently, they talked differently, they could not relate to my past experiences and I could not relate to theirs.
It took me almost a year, to learn to be a Civilian again, and talking to fellow ex-military colleagues and friends, I discovered that they too found it very difficult to adjust to the “Real World” that lay outside the camp gates. I wanted to get this feeling of being out of touch with the “Real World” in my character.
I also wanted the Diary to be written by a military man with an average educational background. I wanted the reader to feel that they were actually reading a ‘Real’ Diary not a beautifully formatted perfectly flowing and well penned diary of a person with an honours degree in English.
The next problem was to make the journal seem real, I did this by putting in daft little bits about day to day life, and one of the daft little bits I put in was that he needed to get some new underwear as his old ones had holes in them.
For some unknown reason, the women who read this on Redwave loved the fact that he was search for the perfect pair of underwear, and it became a running theme that ends with the jet black and gold Y Fronts.
Anyway, I needed a name for the book.  I came up with a number or names – “The Space Killer Diary” and “The Chronicles of a Mass Killer” are two, I will actually admit too, the rest were even worse.
I was staring at a blank page when the words “The Y Front Chronicles” slowly took form in front of my eyes. That was it, that was my title. So that is why the book is called what it is – Because of a slightly warped sense of humour and staring at a blank screen for 30 minutes.